there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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