I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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