ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
