somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
