it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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