I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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