That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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