Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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