I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
