Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
COCAINE IS GR8
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
