fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize