You're so nebulous sometimes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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