Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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