I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
