I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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