You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
