Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
