So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
