She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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