I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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