Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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