You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What a dumb baby whore.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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