Do vagina's smell?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so let's talk penis.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
