i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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