Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize