And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
