dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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