I have demons in me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
