just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
