What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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