her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
