i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
