At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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