he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
