Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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