all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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