Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
