so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just want nice things and good sex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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