I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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