Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
