sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
