I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
