They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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