so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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