So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
