so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
