Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
