I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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