went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
love makes seman taste better
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
