She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
