If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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