Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
