Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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