Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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