Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
