I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize