I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
from now on my penis is your penis
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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