Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
