omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize