I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
