Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep