He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.