just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize