Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
