Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm at about main and main street
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So vagazzling was a success
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