i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
