mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
